In the last tip, we talked about typical motivation that doesn’t work. Now let’s talk about something that works better.
Maybe you’re avoiding a task at work because you find it tedious and stressful, but the deadline is approaching and that’s stressing you out even more. Maybe you think you should start an exercise program because you’re not feeling the best about the way you look, but you’re struggling to get into it because your time is limited and so is your energy. Maybe your parent’s milestone birthday is coming up and you have to plan the celebration, but you just are so exhausted with everything else you have to do and you don’t even know how to get started.
Put the task into perspective by connecting to what doing that task will get you and which values of yours that result will honor. Why is it truly important to do it? You might have to ask yourself why a few times to get to the root of it.
Using the work scenario as an example:
Why is it important to do that work task? It’s important to do it so I keep my job.
Why is it important to keep your job? To make money.
Why is it important to make money? To support myself and my family.
In this example, asking three times was deep enough until we hit the thing that connects to your values and important people in your life. In this example, maybe providing for your family honors two of your values – family and financial stability. Maybe exercising will improve your health and honor your value of well-being. Maybe that birthday celebration honors your values of family and of fun.
Now take it a step further and change your have to/should thought into a want to thought.
It might look like this:
I have to finish this work task 🡪 I want to finish this work task to provide for my family
I should start exercising 🡪 I want to start exercising to improve my health
I have to plan this party 🡪 I want to plan this party to celebrate my parent
Now take it another step further and change your want to thought into a get to thought, focusing on the values and important people in your life who will benefit from your action. Tap into the gratitude you have for these values and people, and take a moment to appreciate how fortunate you are. Some people don’t have jobs or can't work. Some people don’t easily have access to ways to exercise. Some people don’t have parents.
It might look like this:
I want to work to provide for my family 🡪 I get to work to provide for my family
I want to start exercising to improve my health 🡪 I get to exercise to improve my health
I want to plan this party to celebrate my parent 🡪 I get to celebrate my parent
How much different does your motivation look from where you started? It was always there, and now you know how to access it.
If you found out that the task isn’t really important to you, choose to use my prior tips and see if the task can be removed from your list and delegated.
Tell me one task you can reframe your motivation on. I'll be back tomorrow with a tip about how we talk to ourselves.
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