Examine your mindset by giving yourself permission to be real and by being honest with yourself. What are you telling yourself about the situation and what it means about you? Maybe it's a surface message like "it's too hard I can't do it" or "this is stupid and I don't feel like it." Admitting the thought to yourself can release some pressure.
Then, go ahead and lean into that thought and ask yourself if it could help you in some way.
If your thought is "this is too hard," take a moment to appreciate that what you're trying may be hard, particularly if you have never tried it before, if you have tried it and haven't been successful, or if you're putting a lot of pressure on the outcome.
Examine the task. Is it really hard? What makes it hard for you? What could you do to make it easier? Do you have the tools, skills, and knowledge that you need? How can you ramp up your support system? In this example, that self-defeating thought can help you to better prepare yourself for success. Go back to the S.M.A.R.T. goals from the last series. Is what you're trying really realistic? Can it be broken into smaller chunks to make it easier for you? Do you need a class or a training to help prepare you? Do you need a coach? After going through these questions, is it easier and more realistic now? Can you put that thought down now?
If your thought is unhelpful like "this is just stupid," that might be masking what you're really worried about. It might just be an excuse for you not to deal with your feelings and giving you the permission to opt out.
Dig a little deeper. Why are you doing something stupid? that doesn't make any sense. Reconnect to your why for doing the goal in the first place. Maybe you need a different why that connects with you more strongly or maybe you need to be honest with yourself about what you're really worried about. A thought like that could just simply be there to help you avoid starting at all because if you don't start, you can't fail and therefore you can't feel bad. That's what a lot of us do to avoid feeling bad, but would you rather fail or never try?
If, after examining the thought, it is still there and it does not seem to have any value in helping you, ask yourself if you can put it down.
Ask yourself if you can pick a new thought that will better support you.
More on this in my next message.
Comments