Victoria Scott here to talk to you about managing work stress. Today we're deconstructing your stress triggers.
Most of my clients have a lot of level 4 helping energy.
At level 4, people can tend to overextend themselves or feel pressured to say yes when they should say no. If you tend to overextend yourself at work, ask yourself:
Is this an expectation that's being placed on me or that I'm placing on myself?
What would happen if I reject that expectation?
What would it take for me to give myself the same grace that I would give anyone else?
Why wouldn't I think my boss would want to help and support me?
If that last example stressed you out, it could be because you're anticipating a conflict with your boss and that stresses you out. Examine what you're anticipating and why it's stressful.
Is it that you haven't thought of every possible thing they could say and prepared accordingly? While that seems nearly impossible to do, if you're in a culture with a lot of level 2 leadership (Level 2: Fighter), it's natural to anticipate a conflict.
What if instead of responding in kind to level 2 energy you could tap into your level 5 and just be thankful for any feedback you receive because everything is about learning and everything is valuable (Level 5: Leader)?
Maybe that last example triggered you because you pride yourself on being prepared and armed with facts to support your positions. I have a client who works in an environment that's highly level 2 and had a trigger that went all the way back to their childhood with a teacher embarrassing them for not knowing an answer.
They learned that they should be embarrassed if they didn't have instant recall of all data and their level 2 work environment only reinforced that.
So relatable!
But my client took their power back and decided that,
"It's OK not to know."
We deconstruct our triggers to understand the thoughts and beliefs behind them.
Like, "I should feel embarrassed for not knowing."
If they're not serving us, we can choose new thoughts and beliefs that will serve us better.
Like, "It's ok not to know."
If other people's actions trigger your stress, you may be interpreting what you think that their actions mean about you. If someone doesn't acknowledge you in the hallway, you may think that there's an issue. But in reality, that person might just be distracted. Maybe even by their own stress triggers! If you have level 2 leaders, they may lash out when they're angry.
As you build your awareness, you can choose to stop making interpretations about what other people's actions mean about you.
You can choose to stop taking it personally and realize that what they do is about them. You can also choose to ask powerful questions like:
What did you mean by that?
What did you hope to achieve by saying that?
Some people will be able to do this on their own, and some could really benefit from the support of a coach.
I'm curious, what's one belief behind one of your stress triggers that you would like to change to serve yourself better?
Comment below or message me privately to share.
Stay tuned for my next message.
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